It's really not.. But most of you probably know that. Well, the same thing pretty much happened. The "I still love you, I really do, and I miss you so so so much but our relationship just isn't healthy. You live in Michigan and I live in New York. It's just not good.. for the both of us". Yup, the same old jazz as last time. Let me tell you, even though we try to educate our children about history like the holocaust or wars and such, history always repeats itself. Everything is a cycle. Nature is repetitive, we're born and we  live and someday we die. Nothing lasts forever except death (unless you're Christian..). Anyways, the conversation we had last night has happened a few times since he's moved to New York but he always ends up calling me back and we become friends (we're both quite sociable--especially together). Then we become more than friends and life, for a few months, is bliss. Then something happens like he sees a happy couple walking down the street and wishes I were there or he stays up one night thinking of the 600+miles between us. Really, the distance doesn't really bother me at all. I don't think that it's because I'm ignorant or am trying to fool myself but I think it's because I'm more mature than he is. With him, I'm not looking for a teenage relationship. I'm serious. He's my absolute best friend. We can talk for 12+ hours a day. We fall asleep on the phone with eachother and then I wake up to his voice yelling over the receiver telling me that "We did it again!". The only downside is that I hardly get to run my fingers through his hair or feel his arms around me or his breath on my neck or his scraggily beard. Hardly.. but not never. And I'm okay with that. I understand that he is not, however, and there isn't really anything I can do about it. But guess what! He was supposed to come to Michigan tomorrow and stay a month to see me. What horrible timing.. I don't know if he's coming back anymore, He wouldn't tell me. I've been waiting so long to see him but he said it would be for the best and even though I disagree, I can't think of a valid argument as to how it wouldn't be. I've cried my eyes out today and I'm pretty much dried up like a prune. The only reason I stopped myself from my tears was because I realized that in the end, it's going to be okay. It always is. Happiness doesn't last forever but neither does sadness. It sounds silly of me, but I've never been so sure of anything in my life.. One day, who knows when, but one day we will be together because with him I am truly happy. We are a perfect match. I understand that we both need to experience a little more of life before we can finally settle down but I still know that we will have eachother in the end.

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